5. Torrent of questions – toilet letters

​Public toilet cubicles inherently offer a very person experience, one that can only be replicated by sitting inside your suitcase with a small shitting dog inside. You are forced to become accustomed to the smells and liquids of complete strangers within the span of ten seconds. 

It doesnt sound like there is much that can change within the described situation to make it worse. But it turns out that there is something. This something happened today, during one of my ritualistic visits to the toilet i so enjoy.

 Relaxed I was, enjoying my time in this hell hole. When i hear the sound of a child no more than 5 years old enter the cubicle next to mine. Nothing strange about this, children use the bathroom all the time. Especially children with working bladders. I can hear his father encouraging and guiding him through this exercise from outside the door. Still nothing of note. 

Now this is when i hear the telltale sound of liquid falling well short of porcelain and making solid contact with the cheap tiles beneath.

Sure a slightly curious sound, but maybe he just missed for a second. The best of us miss every now and then. 

However it doesnt stop. No, for a good minute this child relieved himself straight onto the unsuspecting floor. Again it has nothing to do with me so I just continue to mind my own business and make sure i dont miss either. 

Unfortunately i look down and see the worrying glisten of a foreign liquid. Growing outward slowly, terrifyingly slow. This puddle is making its way towards my dry shoe, like a horde of zombies attempting to surround a helpless toad. 

I am helpless, i cant leave.  As outside the cubicle is the father of this child, attempting to dry a days worth of urine out of this kids socks in the sink. And im not going to put myself anywhere near that situation. 

I choose my fate and sit as still as I can, praying this lake of piss doesnt find a new home between my toes. Luckily the torment ended with dry shoes, for me at least. The only solice to be found is in the young fire hydrant himself, uttering in complete ignorance “im very wet, but im okay with it”.
Its gumboots from now on.


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