3. Jobs – Toilet Letters 

​Exchanging currency for a service goes beyond the mechanic, in fact most societies (at least the employed ones), make use of this system. Say perhaps  that I were to offer to trim your nose hairs for the small price of a cucumber sandwich. This would require the exchange of cucumbers on breaded flour for the convenient service of a quick deforestation of your nasal cavity. 

This type of situation may be summarized concisely, as a job (Sure i could have opened with that but then you wouldn’t have read about my love for cucumber sandwiches, and more importantly hairless nostrils).

Jobs are everywhere. Take a simple apple for example(not literally, that would be stealing), even a simple piece of fruit has been passed between the callused hands of numerous employed people throughout any given city. 

This apple’s journey was long and arduous, it travelled all the way from its young life as a humble seed fighting for its life in the jungles of peru, to being cast in a plowed field by an underpaid illegal immigrant, finally to being picked from the apple tree it sprouted from, and picked by crows. Various people were tasked to perform various acts, ranging in depravity, so that this apple could end up sitting in your fruit bowl for three weeks. 

Clearly not all jobs are as appreciated as much as they should be. Jobs mean different things to different people. To a bearded 40 year old Chilean man in gym shorts vacationing in Manilla for the summer, the job of serving him his margaritas may be viewed as a godsend. However to the smelly bald gangster who owed his boss silverware, lying in a pool of his own  blood, the job of a hitman could be viewed in a completely different light. The disparity between different peoples views on the value of different peoples jobs is rather disconcerting. 

Therefore I have taken it upon myself to go ahead and thank the various job-havers of our world that dont recieve any recognition beyond the occasional slap in the ear for what they do. 

  • Hitmen, you’re commonly viewed as the silent menace of people in debt, largely because you kill them. But I for one would like to thank you for your service, and for leaving my kneecaps where they are. I promise I’ll have the money next week.
  • Hairdressers, thankyou for keeping the hair out of my eyes and the money out of my wallet. Your service is no doubt appreciated by hairy people everywhere, and the envy of bald people the world over. 
  • To the robots that fill up those sugar packets at cafés with sugar, I thank you. Thanks to you, i can helpfully sprinkle sugar over the tables for the next customers to spoon into their coffees. 

Of course these are but a few of the jobs that are currently being worked by various hard-working  individuals/robots. Unfortunately there is such an abundance of jobs throughout our esteemed society that one could not recognise them all if their kids lives, or even worse their jobs, depended on it. One thing is clear though, whether the job is big or small, no matter how much recognition is received. There can always be more.

 Ladies and gentlemen this is that more. 

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