1.The joys of Jogging at night – toilet letters


I tend to jog at night. Now to some this may present certain challenges to some people such as being killed or in fact trying to kill with such low visibility. Whereas I seem to enjoy bounding through the dark streets heaving like a bulldog with the flu.

However as i have been prowling the deserted streets with my earphones wailing, knees cracking, and breathing no doubt wailing as well I have come to realize a few things about my newly discovered hobby. (Use the following information as you wish, be it to help with your running or even your running)

1. Spiders tend to make webs in the most obvious and yet least expected places. And flailing your sweaty arms in horror isnt fun for anybody. So, for me the best way to avoid a sudden “spider in the ear” scenario is by employing my simple tactic. Don’t run at night.

2. the spiders are only all of the challenge though, but there’s more to it than that. There are like…secondary challenges. One of them being uneven footpaths, they are the bane of all that is toe health. There has been far too many occasions where i have found myself sprawled out on the cold pavement, with nothing but a look of terror on my face and gravel in my teeth. These entirely unpleasant experiences could have been avoided if i had enacted my fool-proof plan, which is simply to not run on footpaths.

3. Roads. The footpath’s chubby cousin. It was an easy move to change the location of my runs, a few simple staggered lunges and a short stumble later, and I was cruising on tar. However it was night and i forgot my high visibility socks. Its a funny thing when a Sideview mirror encounters an unassuming elbow. It really puts life, and not to mention this pursuit of fitness, into perspective. And after the 13th time, i had had enough. I turned yet again to a quote by my favourite billiards player, Julia Billiard. Simply put she said, Dont run on roads (J. Billiard, 2012, pursuit of the ball and road running).

4. To be completely honest I have never really related to the tin man. Not because he is made of tin and doesnt have a heart. But because of his desire to chop wood like a cave man when there are completely capable logging companies which are obviously doing a far better job than him. There is however one thing that i relate to when it comes to this inefficient axe-wielding tin man, his joints. My hip, ankles, knees, feet, and back have all witnessed their own demise at the hands of a humble jog. Sure its worth it to look beautiful in my new bathing suit, but what use is a two-piece if you cant bend over every now and then? This has caused me to throw out my “oops i dropped my pencil” pencils. And i cant have that.

Therefore anyone reading this, if you are to avoid such ailments, simply dont run. Sure you may have a few spare tires wrapped around the ole belly, and your breathing may be heavier than you after a short wobble to the fridge. But when it comes to your health, nothing comes before it, not even your health.


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